I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
