Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize