I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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