remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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