can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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