explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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