i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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