"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wanna go halves on a baby?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
