i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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