so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
