Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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