Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
