Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
