i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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