so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
