I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
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We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
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I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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