you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
