No awkward lesbian experiences without me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
