Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
