Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
