I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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