How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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