Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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