There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
