I'm so fucking centered right now
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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