Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
