Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
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The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
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If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize