I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
