So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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