Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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