once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
