She announced her abortion via fbk
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize