Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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