We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
When are your genitals available?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
