id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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