Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
