I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
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I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
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He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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