I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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