Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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