I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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