Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
