I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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