then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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