Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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