We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
