dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Please don't give away my fajitas
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