And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
