You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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