she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
