I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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