He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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