Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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