I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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