so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down