fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️