Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

So drunk, too bad you don't want this

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(818): View more from California

I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head

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(812): View more from Indiana

sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.

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(917): View more from New York City

My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.

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(916): View more from California

Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.

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