I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
