Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
